Back in January my friend Tiffany said "Hey, I'm coaching basketball at the Y. Why don't you sign up Xavier for our team. It's fun and easy, and it's only 7 weeks." Hmmmm....Xavier barely knew what basketball was, and had never played on a sports team. But hey, why not??!! Walter and I thought it would be good for him to learn about playing as part of a team, sportsmanship, get some exercise in the winter, etc. And he'd know a few people already. Never mind that the child couldn't dribble to save his life.
Anyway.......we signed him up. We talked it up and got him all excited. Or so we thought.
First practice he did ok. He was clearly overwhelmed. Turns out he was the only kid on the team that had never played a lick. Great. He followed instructions, was really trying to keep up, and appeared to be having some fun, but he had NO IDEA what he was doing. (He's in the green shirt)
And guess what I did at the practice.....I CRIED. What???? I am sooooo not a cryer. But I couldn't help it. Part of it was seeing my baby growing up a little playing on a team. And the other part was because he was just floundering out there with no clue what to do (even though the coaches were awesome and really trying to help him).
He was excited for the first game (even though he had no idea what "basketball game" even meant).
But during the game he was again, very overwhelmed. He just didn't understand what to do and didn't really even care to try. He was often on the wrong end of the court, never came close to even trying to get the ball. He did what the coaches told him, but had no interest of his own in the game.
The next week he didn't want to go to practice. But I made him go. He just acted real silly.
When it came time for the 2nd game he didn't want to go.Whined about it for 2 hours prior to leaving the house. But I made him go. I thought if I could just get him some more exposure he'd pick it up and maybe start to like it. So we went. AND HE THREW A HUGE TANTRUM AT THE GAME. It was team picture day and he refused to be in the picture. Then he refused to play. Just kept telling me we needed to go home. I was mad at the way he was acting and I was embarrassed. When we finally got him out on the court he just stood there. It was pointless. We ended up leaving the game early. I was not thrilled with his behavior at all (or mine...ouch!).
Walter and I talked about it for a few days, I talked to my friend/coach.....and we decided to pull him off the team. We struggled with it because we didn't want him to think he can just throw a fit and get out of doing something. That's not good sportsmanship and that's not honoring your commitment to play. But when I took a step back I realized he never made a commitment to this. I did. He was just along for the ride. Xavier never asked to play on the team. He barely knew what "basketball team" even meant. He was one of the youngest kids there, and the only one that hadn't played in the fall. He was overwhelmed, not interested, and just flat out didn't want to do it. It just wasn't his thing right now. And he's 5 years old. Not exactly a pivotal point in his sports years. We just wanted him to have fun and learn something. But he wasn't having fun. So instead of dragging him to practice and games for the next 5 weeks in a row, we just bailed.
And it was totally the right thing to do for our child. He hasn't said another word about basketball since we told him he didn't have to play anymore.
I'm hesitant to try another sport right now. I think we will stick to finishing out our swim lessons (which he DOES like). We also plan to sign Xavier up for VBS again this summer.
Live and learn :)
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